You might find it surprising that today we’re talking about a competitor. But we feel we need to, because something important happened, and almost no one seems to have noticed.
The biggest gay dating app in China, Blued, vanished from the Apple Store. Just gone. No discussion. No public outcry. Apple said in a statement that the removal came after an order from the Cyberspace Administration of China.
Being gay is officially legal, and big cities have a vibrant nightlife. However, in recent years Chinese authorities have increased pressure, and LGBTQ-themed events and venues have been shut down more frequently.
And when platforms suddenly disappear, something far more important than “a dating app” disappears, especially in homophobic countries. These platforms are a window to gay freedom, a place where someone discovers they are not the only one in the village.
A WeChat user in China wrote something simple but powerful:
“Blued made countless people realise for the first time that they weren’t alone; it brought a group from the margins to being seen.”
That line hit me straight in the chest, because I remember exactly what it feels like to realise that for the first time.
My first moment of “I’m not alone”
Take me, for example, today I’m the Head of Communication for a gay dating app in Amsterdam. I think it can’t get more liberated than this. But I grew up closeted in Jordan, a place with no visible gay life, no public queer spaces, and no one I could safely talk to about who I really was.
My hometown — Amman, the capital of Jordan
Then, one night in 2006, I secretly logged into a gay dating platform for the first time. Nervous, sweaty, and absolutely terrified (looking over my shoulder constantly), and suddenly, on that tiny digital screen, I saw people like me. Not hypothetically, not in movies, not whispered about… but real people, my age, nearby, alive, and unapologetically themselves. One of them is one of my best friends today. That little digital window became my first safe space, the place where I realised: “I’m not the only one.”
For everyone who is younger: Internet cafés were the places you had to go to in order to use a computer and get online. No Wi-Fi, no mobile phones
For me, and for millions of queer people living in hostile environments, dating apps are not just entertainment. They are a window to freedom, to safety, to hope. That’s why it hits me personally when these windows suddenly vanish.
Dating platforms do something important:
You can live hours away from the nearest gay-friendly bar or event and still find someone who shares your humour, your interests, or your desires, all within a few clicks.
Let’s protect them, not police them. Let’s make space, not erase it. And let’s make sure everyone, everywhere, gets to experience that moment: “Oh… there are others like me.”
Speaking Up Matters
We understand that Apple, Google, or any big company are in complicated positions when dealing with governments around the world. It’s not easy, we get that. But we also hope they don’t give in too quickly, not when safe spaces for our Rainbow Family are at stake.
Our concern is that this isn’t just about shutting down a gay dating app. Following the news, it seems part of a wider trend in China, declaring homosexuality and diverse sexual identities as “decadent Western influence,” banning “girly men” from TV. What’s happening in China is barely talked about. Maybe because too much business is involved? We don’t have users in mainland China, which means we can speak freely.
In September 2021, the government ordered broadcasters and streaming platforms to “resolutely put an end to sissy men and other abnormal esthetics.”
With this article, we want to raise awareness for the situation of our Rainbow Family in China, and encourage everyone to take a closer look. We understand that China feels far away for most of us, but our Rainbow Family over there deserves the same rights and attention. We just want to remind everyone that a better vision for China already exists, and it’s called Taiwan, one of the most progressive places in the world when it comes to freedom and happiness for our Family.
If this message reaches the staff of Blued or their users:
We are with you. You are not alone. 💙
Abdallah