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Everyone Sees Me as a Human Dildo

Joren is a handsome guy. He’s tall, with a thick stache and a fuzzy chest. He’s also very hung – which makes him quite popular. But having a big dick, although a dream of many, is not always what it’s cut out to be.

Check him out on ROMEO: THEBIGBADTOP

“I’ve had people laugh hysterically when I pull my pants down or send nudes,” he says, “Sometimes, I get instantly blocked.” So, as one would expect, a big tool really does get in the way.

When he was younger, Joren didn’t really know that he was considered XXL. “I guess my first partner made me realize it because he was adamant that I was very hung.”

Early on, he understood that his dick is his currency in the gay dating world. “The difference between the attention I get on dating apps if I advertise my dick size or choose not to is quite startling,” he tells us. Because of that, he has had a fixation on his size. “I think I’ve felt this was a way—or the only way—to validate myself,” he said.

Human dildo

“I am a top,” Joren tells us, “Generally, that is assumed. But that’s great, because I love topping.”

Topping when you’re bigger means you must be extra mindful. And yes, we support mindful tops. Sure, a lot of bottoms will get pounded out by gigantic tools in a porno, but real-life hookups? They tend to go a little differently.

“I’ve felt like a human dildo sometimes. Some guys would cum instantly as I’m sliding in and act very cold towards me after the fact. Sure, that can be hot, but not if I’m looking for human affection.”

Finding the right match can be tricky. There’s often less pounding, more logistics. “I mostly can’t fuck with reckless abandon. I try to be very gentle and cautious, especially at first. And not everyone is in that mood every time,” Joren tells us. It all comes with the package.

Role and Size are more correlated than we think. Graphic from our MythBusters series on Instagram.

A while back, we asked our followers the question, “Does size impact our role in sex?” and we checked the stats on our platform to compare. The myth was actually confirmed. Guys with bigger sizes were often top, guys with smaller sizes, bottom.

Is it a preference, or is it pressure and expectation (“You have to top and not waste that big tool” vs. “If you have a smaller dick, you have to bottom”)? We can’t know for sure.

Joren says: “Many guys want to try out a ‘porn’ dick at least once in their lives. I do get viewed as a sex object more so than something ‘serious.’ Guys will generally assume that I’m pretty dumb.”

Love, on top

When asked if his size has affected his relationships in the past, Joren answers, “Not really.” He says: “For me to ‘ascend to the rank of boyfriend,’ the sex has to be equally pleasurable for both of us.” He’s been single for three years, and he loves it. “I have been almost continuously in relationships for the past decade, so this is a welcome change of pace for me. That being said, if the right guy comes along to sweep me off my feet, consider me swept!

If you got it, flaunt it

Recently, Joren’s become more in touch with his exhibitionist side. His X account, @thebigbadtop, is where he feels free to let it all hang out. “The ‘circus freak’ element had always been there since high school, but it was only by embracing it and eventually displaying it online that I started growing more confident.”

“With my online presence, I’m trying to reclaim and enjoy my sexuality in a sex-positive way.”

His exhibitionistic social media journey started with a private, faceless page where he indulged in his kink. But since then, it has grown. “This can be quite scary,” he says, “but that’s just the fear brought on by social norms and expectations.”

“At the end of the day, I know I’m using this to my advantage. I guess I’m a hypocrite?” Joren jokes. “Today is the day I proudly come out as hung. Thank you all. It’s been a struggle.”

According to Joren, more people with different body types are much more widely celebrated today. “People are into so much more than just big dicks,” he says. “The moment people embrace that, the healthier it’s gonna get for us as an image-obsessed society.” Amen! Being hung sure does help, tho. 😜🍆