At ROMEO, we are people from all over the world. One of our colleagues in the Communication team has been working with us remotely as a graphic designer from India since last year. He recently got married to a woman, and for most colleagues in Amsterdam, this was a little shocking. He was not in a relationship prior to this. Surely, we know about the many realities in the world, but it’s different when it involves someone you work with on a daily basis.
We will keep him anonymous. This is a big story for him, a big one for us too, and we’re still admiring the courage he had to write this blog.
“Marriage in India is, for the vast majority of men who reach the age of 30, compulsory! I’m the only son and have the responsibility of marrying and raising a family in my childhood home with my parents and grandparents. As a closeted bisexual man, the prospect of marriage had terrified me for most of my adult life. However, with the persistence of my family and friends, I relented and agreed to be wed. My first responsibility was to raze my dilapidated old home and construct a modern home on the same small plot while living onsite in a tent for 18 months with my elderly parents!
Temperatures in Kerala exceed 45 degrees in the summer months so life under plastic was unbearable. Although the cost of construction was only 15000 euros, building in covid time was a nightmare as my freelance graphic design work dried up. Only when I became contracted to work for Romeo was I able to resume and complete my family home and the marriage planning could begin in earnest.
Indian marriages are steeped in time-honoured traditions, constrained by caste and socio-economic factors and have altered little over the centuries. My marriage was therefore arranged by my parents to a 25yr old lady from a nearby fishing village and, after lengthy negotiations between both family elders, an agreement was reached whereby I, and my future wife, met for the first time. Our courtship was little more than a series of phone calls leading up to the wedding day itself and fortunately for me, my intention proved to be a funny, bubbly, warm, generous and thoughtful partner.
My wedding day was a colourful affair held in my local catholic church followed by a traditional ‘dham’ attended by 700 members of our joint communities. There was no honeymoon; instead, my wife and I stayed in my family home for a few days before going to my wife’s family home for a week. We are now back in my family home (with my parents and grandparents) and this is how it will be for the rest of our days.“
If some parts of this story were upsetting to you, you are not alone. Rest assured, we will make sure that both will go on their very first flight ever and spend a fun honeymoon week in Dubai. Although we cannot change the whole world, we can always help the people we know.
We would like to say A HUGE THANKS to our colleague for being so brave and for sharing his story with us so honestly. We are happy that we were able to gift him an unforgettable experience.
